It's been my secret, but noweveryone close to me knew and I was okay with that.Now as I stood looking at myself in the mirror I saw her, I saw Ashleylooking back at me and not Ben nor anyone else was going to make me goback to being a boy. I don't want to be Andy anymore, I don't want to bea boy, I never did, I want to be Ashley.It's ignorant to me, but really it's mostly uninformed or ignorant orboth. No one can ever feel or knows what it's like to be transgenderunless they are.It's like when I watch tv or scroll through social media, well when i hada phone anyways, how most people have no idea what's like to be me or howI've felt my entire life. How every decision, thought or choice issecondary to, "Why can't I be a girl" i mean how can they comment orjudge, saying things like "you're a boy not matter what you do" or "boysare boys and girls are girls and that's it, these people are justconfused" sometimes i wish they could feel what i feel for just a day tounderstand.I decided I. Theride to the bus station was uneventful as was most of the trip to hisold hometown. It wasn't until he started to notice somewhat familiarlandscape out the bus windows that he started to get anxious.His rental car was waiting for him at the bus depot and he drovedirectly to the motel to check in and get a good nights rest. Jimshowered for the second time that day. The ride on the bus with all theother people in close confines had made him feel uncomfortable and heneeded to wash off the road trip before he went to bed. He watched alittle TV and then went to bed with thoughts about all the old hangoutshe would see the next day.As he drifted off to sleep he wondered if he would run into any of hisold acquaintances. He couldn't think of them as friends but theyweren't enemies either. Jim was, for the most part, a non-entity duringhis school days but he did know a lot of his fellow students and theyknew him. It was just like at work. Almost everyone knew him and heknew them. He just.
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